the living arrangement

Brian and Tammy’s home was a 3 bed, 2 bath at 1,560 square feet. Us kids tried different sleeping arrangements. All five kids on an air mattress in one bedroom, then a few who would sleep in office area of Brian and Tammy’s master suite. Brian’s brother Cliff and their friend Jonathan in another room.

Adding 5 kids to it made it tight. Within a month, Cliff and Jonathan moved out.

I still remember when the boys got a haircut and took a nap on the air mattress, and everyone asking me if I had shaved my legs in bed.

With the power of community, Brian and Tammy’s Sunday School group pooled resources to purchase two bunk beds that were placed in two rooms. I had the top bunk of one and shared the room with Star and Tony. Binh and Sang shared the other one.

The seven of us became known as the Miner Clan. We took up space wherever we went. The GMC van, the church pew, neighborhood hockey, the grocery store, the movie theater. Every activity we did became a fun team sport, and strength in numbers became our existence.

With seven of us, chores ran themselves. Divide the tasks, rotate the roles, done.

Another great thing about growing up in a big family is having confirmation of experiences and sharing varying perspectives of what we remembered and how it shaped us. Adaptability would be a strength we could all claim from this period, or as my dad would call it - flexibility.

I watched my adopted mom, Tammy, get up early to pack our school lunches from bread we bought at the Mrs. Baird’s outlet and froze. I have just started eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches again as an adult, but I still don’t like bologna.

I remembered a birthday ritual we had; we could pick what we wanted for breakfast, and also not have to do dishes for the day. My birthday was the first time I had eggs benedict.

Bless my parents, they were creative and practical in celebrating and finding resources to fund our lives. My mom learned the coupon game. Each kid was limited to selecting one extracurricular activity. I suspect my parents probably took out additional mortgages, and wrecked their finances. And none of the kids knew the struggle because it was discussed behind closed doors.